Late Night Insomnia…
For the past four days… I’ve had a grand total of 14 hours of sleep. I should be tired. But for some reason I keep waking up in the middle of the night. With all my new found time of… unrelenting consciousness, I had some time to think about a lot of things..
I wonder… am I making my parents proud? Am I the person the wanted me to be? Am I the kid that they wished for… leaving their family; leaving their home country. At times, I feel selfish because I’m allowed to pursue a dream that they never had the opportunity to. When I look back to my grandparents… to my great grand mother, I wonder did she ever think at the time, that her actions, her choices; would surmount to me. I look at my family and I see people who’ve experienced so much hardship, so much scrutiny, so much shit that life has shoved in their face and I can’t help but to feel unworthy of these opportunities. Every generation of my family have been building up upon years of hardships and sacrifices all so I could be where I am. Comfortable.
Well.. I think I’m only afforded one epiphany per 90 odd hours. I hope I don’t put a damper on anyone’s day with this.
